Mrs Patmore Quotes

As far as leading ladies and lines go, Mrs. Patmore is the downstairs version of the Dowager when it comes to wit. Mrs. Patmore dispenses some sauciness along with her cooking, cutting to the heart of the issue every time. Daisy is usually the object of her sharp tongue, but Mrs Patmore spares no one as she delivers her own flavour of commentary.

After food lands on the floor of the kitchen…

“What the eye doesn’t see the heart won’t grieve over”

To Daisy

“Listen to me and take those kidneys up to the servery before I knock you down and serve your brains as fritters.”

“Daisy, I said you could go for a drink of water, not a trip up the Nile”

Daisy: “I was only trying to help”
Mrs. Patmore: “Judas was only trying to help, when he brought the Roman soldiers to the garden”

“You’re always dozy but tonight you’d make Sleeping Beauty look alert.”

Catching Daisy dancing with William…

“Daisy, stop that silly nonsense before you put your joints out”

When Daisy goes on strike and reminds Mrs. Patmore of her rights…

“Oh dear, have you swallowed a dictionary?”

Daisy: “The chimney is not drawing properly, the oven is not hot enough”
Mrs Patmore: “It’s a poor workman who blames his tools”

O’Brien: “Can I borrow some baking soda?”
Mrs Patmore: “Borrow? Are you planning to give it back?”

On food rationing after the war…

“Talk about making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. I wish I had a sow’s ear. It would be better than this brisket”

“The Lord tempers the wind to the shorn lamb”

The sinking of the Titanic…

“Nothing in life is sure”

About Thomas being nice after the war to get his job back…

“It’s wonderful what fear can do to the human spirit”

“We never associate the word helpful with you”

On Daisy marrying William…

“It’s too late for second thoughts now, Missy. You don’t have to marry him when it comes to it, but you can’t let him go to war with a broken heart, or he won’t come back.”

“You don’t have to be Shakespeare, just say nice things”

The telephone…

“It sounds like the cry of the banshee… I wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole”

 

General comments by Mrs Patmore…

“William’s got more to say than a parliamentary candidate”

“You know the trouble with you lot is that you’re all in love with the wrong people”

“Anyone who has use of their limbs can make a salmon mousse”

Counselling Mrs. Hughes…

“If you must pay money, better to a doctor than an undertaker”

To Molesley about Sybil…

“Of course she married beneath her. And who are you, the Habsburg Archduke?”

Mrs Patmore: “Perhaps Thomas has done and seen more than is good for him. He’s not a lady’s man.”
Daisy: “Well isn’t it a blessed relief.”

“How can you choose today of all days to complain about your lot. I expect Mr. Bates would rather be wondering about how to keep a roast chicken warm than sitting in a lonely cell facing his maker.”

Mrs Patmore: “I’m never sure about Americans and offal”

Mrs. Patmore: Nothing’s as changeable as a young man’s heart. Take hope and warning from that.

Mrs. Patmore: Chilled soup should be an exquisite mouthful not a bucket of slop.

Mrs. Patmore: I’ll have no swear words in here, thank you very much. Unless I’m doing the swearing.

Mrs. Patmore: Sometimes you can spend too long on a one sided love.

Mrs. Patmore: I like that Rudolph Valentino. He makes me shiver all over.
Carson: What a very disturbing thought.

Mrs. Patmore: You don’t understand. Before too long, her ladyship could run the kitchen with a woman from the village. What with these toasters and mixers and the such, we’d be out of a job.

Mrs Patmore (about Alfred breaking Daisy’s heart): I do grudge him the tears and the heartbreak that will flavour my puddings for weeks to come.

Mrs. Patmore: Mr Carson, all women need someone to show a bit of interest every now and then. Preferably in a manner that’s not entirely proper.

Mrs. Patmore: You’re a very optimistic generation, I’ll say that.

Mrs Patmore (to Lady Rose): If the family is like sardines my Lady, the staff are like maggots